The Lord is Close (Part 2)
She raised her head and stared into the setting sun. When she couldn’t bare it any longer, she looked away. That is how every day felt, as if it were burning into her soul and at any moment she would have to look away.
She could hear the angry, desperate voices coming from within the house. They raised and lowered and raised again. Sometimes they would get so loud that she expected to hear a gun shot or something such as that to end the sound forever. She could feel the tension all the way out into the back yard. Every hair on the back of her neck stood ready. Then silence. For a moment, it would be the silence that worried her. But it must have been just a chance to take another run and breathe and begin again, as the voices once again began their primal dance.
She sighed in relief and then in regret, that it wasn’t over. She wondered to herself why two people would choose to stay with each other and torture each other like this for so long? She knew that Mother always told her that God hated divorce but she had difficulty believing that He would prefer this never ending war.
Day in and day out, rarely a day to count as good…more bad than good actually. She thought that she might be imagining how often it was but then she started a count on a scrap of paper that she kept hidden in the pocket on her mattress. It was a wonderful hiding place for poems, stories and all kinds of things. She would mark the days of the week and draw a line through the good ones when they were done. There wasn’t much work for her to do actually. The days that weren’t productions like this day were full of contempt and silence and not much better. They really didn’t like each other and she was certain that they didn’t think much of her and her brother either.
She couldn’t think about it any longer. She couldn’t wait around another moment. She had to get up and just walk, somewhere. She headed into the sun. It was warm and the light drew her with its beauty. It hovered just above the tree line and she climbed over the gate that held the cows in and they did not even notice her. She unlatched and walked out the back gate along the path that was beside the field. The soft dirt was still warm from the sun and enticed her to continue. She reached the edge of the wood and thought that she should probably go back.
A slight shudder ran through her. A fleeting feeling of release. A tingling of excitement. A promise of freedom. But it was the silence that drew her in. The beautiful, welcoming, peaceful silence of the dark forest bid her enter.
To be continued…